***Warning: This blog post contains spoilers for episode five of the HBOMax series, And Just Like That…***

Episode 5 opens with a very exciting view of Carrie’s entryway in the downstairs of her second level apartment. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we ever saw this space in Sex and the City or any of the movies?! Kind of exciting. But really it’s nothing, because a TON of shit goes down in this episode!

First, Carrie’s back hurts, something she’s self-diagnosed as “old lady back” on Google, but Seema’s cousin is an orthopedic surgeon and she gets Carrie in straightaway for a consult. Turns out, she has some random undiagnosed congenital birth defect and needs hip surgery to correct it. Until she’s healed, she can’t wear heels, which motivates her to get things going. Not only do we get to see Carrie’s entryway, but we also get to see her in socks and birks.

While Carrie is at her consult, Miranda is digging through her latest Amazon order and comes across two things she’d rather not: Flavored LUBE ordered by her son’s girlfriend (THIS bitch), and a book called “How to Quit Like a Woman,” about quitting drinking, which she assumes came from Charlotte. “She Amazoned me!”

Meanwhile, Charlotte is dealing with surprises of her own. On a Zoom call with her school moms’ group, she is surprised to find out that her daughter Rose has been going by “Rock” at school, and everyone seems to know but her. She and Harry meet with Rock’s teachers who encourage them to be supportive of Rose/Rock’s wishes, also referring to Rock as “they.” Harry seems very confused. Truth be told, I’m sure it’s a challenging time to be a parent, but as much as Charlotte annoys me, she does seem supportive in this regard.

Following Carrie’s surgery, Charlotte, Miranda and Anthony have a schedule set up to take shifts with her, although Anthony wants no part of “changing the bedpan.” He does, however, bring Carrie home from the hospital in style in his “Hot Fellas” van and even has one of the fellas carry her upstairs. Later on, doped up Carrie gets on her podcast and drops a story from SATC season 2, when her diaphragm got stuck and Samantha had to help her get it out.

Charlotte purses her overly puffy lips about Carrie using Samantha’s name and suggests she give her the heads up.

Then things get really interesting. Carrie is asleep while Miranda is on duty, and Che stops over with some stuff to help Carrie podcast from home and a bottle of tequila. Che and Miranda proceed to do some shots… and then fool around. While I’m not shocked, I’m also… wow, OK. Miranda is just doing this. What about Steve????

Unfortunately, Carrie wakes up during the act and ends up pissing the bed because Miranda was “unavailable” to help her to the bathroom. Once Che leaves, Carrie confronts Miranda about not being there when needed, drinking in the middle of the day and of course HAVING SEX WITH HER BOSS IN THE KITCHEN. Miranda breaks down and says she’s deeply unhappy and has been for some time, but still insists she’s in control of her drinking.

Carrie texts Samantha about name dropping her on her podcast, and Samantha is cool about it — “I love that your vagina is getting air time.” Carrie then texts “I miss you,” but Samantha leaves her on read.

Back at home, Miranda is listening to Che’s podcast and making a cocktail when she gets an email asking her how she’s enjoying her purchase… of Quit Like a Woman. Turns out she drank and ordered! (Who among us hasn’t?! For me, it’s usually concert tix.) She feels like an ass and starts dumping booze down the sink. So… is she quitting?!

Carrie gets paired up with a hot PT, but of course they bait and switch her and tell her he’s not covered by insurance. But no matter — Carrie will pay out of pocket for this motivational perk.

“And just like that… three months later, I was back in heels.”