Giving myself a break

I haven’t blogged in so long that the fonts here are different. Neat. At least to me, in “drafts” — perhaps not to my readers’ eyes.

Anyway… it’s been almost a year, and much has changed, but, alarmingly, it also hasn’t.

When things are going smoothly, do you ever stop to worry for a sec that something terrible is just around the corner and it’s all going to go away — or are you not an anxious pessimist?!

As vaccinations rolled out this spring/summer, my calendar filled up at an alarming rate. Earlier this month, I attended my first work event in a year-and-a-half. This month I also got on a plane for the first time in more than a year to visit my friends in DC, and I’m going back next month for a baby shower (an extremely exciting development/highlight of the past year!), and I’m officiating another friend’s pandemic wedding: Part 2 over Labor Day Weekend.

In between, we’ve been hosting family, buying tickets to shows again and trying to navigate bars and parties again with friends. The Milwaukee Bucks won the NBA Finals last week! The Cleveland Indians are becoming the Guardians. Aaron Rodgers reported to Packers camp and Randall Cobb is back! Life goes on.

And yet, COVID cases are rising daily, ERs are getting crowded again, and mask mandates are making a return.

I’m not going to spend this post lecturing about vaccination and other safety measures — although I implore you to please consider getting vaccinated if you haven’t. Rather I, I think like many of us, sometimes don’t know what to do with myself.

It feels like it’s all going to fall apart any minute. How much effort do I put in? Do I count on plans I’ve made for 2 months from now? Do I just “carpe diem!” and try not to think about anything? (Have you met me, LOL.)

My threshold for fatigue and burnout is at an all-time low. I know I’m not the only one. One of my friends earlier today referred to this as “low energy summer.” I think we’re all feeling a little bit of whiplash with how quickly we’ve been thrown back into “normal” life. I, myself, am still working from home, but for how long? While I always felt that my kitchen table didn’t exactly make for a long-term office, the thought of getting fully dressed with makeup everyday and getting in my car by 7:45 a.m. sends me into a panic. FOMO is back. Events and other celebrations — many of which have been postponed for a year — are ramping up. I’ve already been asked to officiate another wedding next fall, and I actually had to turn down another request to spearhead a celebration. Sometimes, it just feels like too much.

It’s not that I don’t want my life back. Right? I think while there were clear “perks” to the slowdown experienced last year, we missed the option to watch sports with friends, gather for happy hour, see live music and travel. Not to mention those whose jobs hung in the balance and struggled to make ends meet, or those who live alone and felt isolated. I don’t want THAT… but do I want THIS?

The thing is, I/we have little control over it. So my advice is this: Give yourself a break. It’s easier said than done. If you’re like me, you feel “lazy” any time you don’t feel like doing something after the year we’ve had — whether that be working out, hosting an event or just going to one. Hell, even making dinner.

I think we need to give ourselves some breathing room. It’s a lot. And the future is still uncertain. “Carpe diem”… but do it your way. If “seize the day” for you means binging your favorite show, do it. If it means biking 20 miles, do that, too. But let’s try — as hard as it can be — not to compete with each other. We’re all dealing with this in our own way.

Let’s take care of ourselves.

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