I’m in my 30s and divorced. I once owned a condo with my ex-husband but now rent a cheap apartment with my current boyfriend in an “up-and-coming” part of town and struggle to make ends meet every month. I have a cat. I have meltdowns. I’m on my third therapist (now therapist/life coach), not counting the random sessions I got during desperate times in college.
Something happened when I turned 30. I began to feel this nagging sense of responsibility to do the right thing, to act like a “real” adult. I still do stupid things all the time — have one (or three) too many, spend all my money, speak without regard — but afterward I feel a lot worse about it than I did in my 20s. I feel like I don’t have any more excuses to be this way. It’s time to adult! For real!
But… adulting is hard, yo! Really, really hard. I may not be the most dysfunctional of my peers, but people around me are forging (successful) marriages, having babies, buying houses. I should clarify I’m not ashamed to be where I’m at. I’d much rather be here still figuring it out than muddling through an unhappy marriage for the rest of my life. But still. I could do better. I mean, we all could, right? And that’s what this blog is about. I’m sharing my journey and my process with all of you. If I’m going to write about it for myself anyway, why not put it out on the internets. I want to share some of the things I’ve learned in therapy/life coaching, from friends, from making mistakes. I’d love to hear feedback on things that may have worked for others, too! By no means is this meant to be an advice blog — clearly, I’m not there yet. It’s more a lesson in “maybe don’t do that.. ” But I invite you along as I work toward my goal of becoming a real, full-functioning adult… which will hopefully be reached by 40.
So, a couple of notes about this blog. I foresee it being a mix of strategies I’ve learned or am trying to learn, and my success, or lack of, in making them work, but also some everyday glimpses into my life and situations where I was faced with the need to adult and either succeeded or failed. It’s my hope as this gets going that people might propose other topics or share helpful strategies that worked for them, and you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or comment here. The idea here is for this to be a collaborative forum for all of us struggling to do our best.
So join me on my ride as Alyssa Goes Adulting…